I Want the Milk but Not the Cow

People can be selfish. Many times, they are concerned only with serving themselves and satisfying their own needs and desires regardless of what the other person is feeling. They can desire and want sexual relations with someone but do not want to invest in a long-term, committed relationship.  They promise to commit and give just enough to the other person to make them believe they will,  yet just never quite get around to it.

This is a common situation both men and women fall into where they desire “the milk but not the cow.”

Sometimes, you must know when to just walk away.  We can all fall into a situation that doesn’t go anywhere and feel stuck.  This can happen in personal as well as business relationships. If a person doesn’t want all of you, it’s time to move on. Take your feelings, emotions, the experience, close the door and move forward.

Remember a lesson learned, is not worth repeating.  Learn to watch for the signs of people like this and choose more wisely next time.

If you are one of the people doing this to others – stop! You’re short-changing yourself and you’re hurting others. Take some time and do some self-exploration about why you have developed this pattern.  Are you afraid of intimacy?  Are you afraid to be alone but haven’t found “the one?”  Do you miss the adrenaline of a “new” relationship?  You going to continue hurting yourself and others with this behavior and miss out on so much that a committed relationship has to offer.

While it may seem that you’re just enjoying yourself, the reality is, you’re hurting yourself.  You’re exposing yourself to potentially dangerous situations. What if you meet someone who is or becomes unstable and harms you? We see it in the news almost weekly now it seems –  a disgruntled person injures or kills their ex-lover or ex-lover and others around them.

You’re also exposing yourself to potential diseases with each new sex partner, many are silent and don’t even show up for months or years down the road.

While the likelihood of these events may seem remote to you, they are both growing in number as people become more mobile around the world.  Chances are they probably are remote.  However, the likelihood of continuing to damage your mental health is one hundred percent.

Take care of yourself, limit your exposure, pull back from these types of un-fulfilling relations and take the time to understand how you got into this place and figure out how to get out of it.  You didn’t get there overnight and won’t get out of it overnight.  It will take some work and it may hurt to examine all those feelings.  Find your core network to depend upon. Find a good counselor if need be.  Join some support groups, either in person or online.  The options are vast these days.  Immerse yourself in reading positive books to help you.

Your milk will be much richer when you and the cow are committed to one another.

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